[]
Today was exciting! I met Seto to eat lunch. Supposed to meet with Judith and Julia for lunch at YASSIN'S but it rained really badly and they ate at home instead. So I walked with my gay and out of shape umbrella to Boon Keng MRT to meet Seto before proceeding to the market area to get my jeans. Believe it or not, first I got myself all wet (well actually the rain did, I couldn't help ): ), and then I got us lost! Can't believe my sense of direction is that bad. I took a wrong turn and we went one big round around the HDB blocks. Hahaha. Anyways, after lunch and everything, waited for Judith and Julia at the steps... and took 23 to Tampines before changing to the train on our way to the airport! It was raining quite a lot, which pretty sucked! The ride home was funny, Julia didn't want to get off the train to change for a quick bus just because it was raining. Oh well, I didn't mind since the rain was pretty crappy. HAHA. Here come the photos! More of them over at Julia's livejournal!
P/S: The nicer photos you see here is most probably taken by Julia. She's waaayyyyy better than me D:
i blew my HORN at 9:05 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[HELLO :D]
HELLO BLOG AND READERS! (:
I'm a happy boy in the world. I don't know why my parents do not want me to share this happiness though. "Keep a low profile" they say. What for? I do not know. :/
But well, I guess I can keep a low profile by not typing it out here, or saying it anymore (which is kinda a bit too late HAHA), I shall just post some photos I took during the last few days! More to come soon! I'll try to photoblog everyday :D or maybe start using livejournal haha!
Here goes! You might want to rest your eyes a little now and then :/
i blew my HORN at 9:48 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Posted and assigned]
Wow, it's been long since I blogged. Heck, I've been wanting to blog about a lot of things, I just didn't have the motivation to spend time and write it down here. But now I do. School's starting. I figured I should do something more productive instead of chatting and doing other shit on the Internet.
Listening to Ryuichi Sakamoto's "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence" makes me want to cry. They're using this piece for "The Leap Years", that show that's coming up real soon. It's a really nice piece, go youtube it if you want to, when you are free (:
Posting results are out on Tuesday. God, please do with me as You please. Even for the appeal. I'll trust. Give me strength to trust in You. I'm so scared, I don't know what about. Maybe the future. Maybe, what I'm going to do for a living next time. I totally have no idea. I'm not a good long-term planner! Hopefully as I go on in life, and as I get more mature, and is able to think more long-term, I'll be able to decide on what I would like to do for a profession. But if I want to be a musician... I shall start taking theory soon.
Time to stop procrastinating. Time for discipline. Time to stop fooling around. Time to grow up.
Let's go, begin a new chapter, get on with life, on with this exciting journey whose future is yet to be written. Let's write this story.
i blew my HORN at 10:28 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Sudden impulses can cause confusion.]
You can't sleep at night. Tossing and turning in bed seems like a daily routine. You cry out for help, for warmth, for love. Talking about love, what is it? And what would you do for the love of your life?
Confusion takes a firmer grip on you as you ponder on that question. What confusion? The issue about who you love. Yes, no one knows the people on your mind, so neither do they know who you truly love. The thing is, you yourself don't know. That's where confusion places its firm and devastating grip on you. People don't know that you're confused, even though you tell them so. You hoped for a person to talk to. Maybe a friend whom you thought understood you. But this friend appears not to, and you get shot down, making the score, "Confusion: 2, You: 0"
You never win, until you get your head clear. Until you sit down and think about it. Until there are no distractions and other parties' ideas involved, but just your own, clear emotion and thoughts.
Oh screw this shit, I don't know why it's coming up again. I don't know why I was shouted at, what I did wrong, and stuff like that. I want to get my ass off the computer now. Bye.
i blew my HORN at 8:44 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[]
I hate listening to my parents talk. Whether it's normal chit chat, or a discussion. They always sound like their fighting. "It's our way of communication," my dad would say. But let's face the fact here. One party never wins. The other always does, with the final sentence being "Forget it, it's useless talking to you". The winning party will always shoot questions and statements that keeps emphasizing that it is correct, while the other party will try to defend itself, even though it's not wrong either. So the winner will look down on the loser and go, "you're wrong, I'm right. I win."(not literally okay!)
It is childish. Well, at least the winning party is. That's what it seems to me. Wanting always to be right. What's WRONG with NOT being right for once, or twice, maybe a couple more times? Oh well. I shall stop talking about this now and let it go as one of the problems that are at the back of my head.
Results are coming out on Thursday at 2PM, so it seems. I don't know what to put in for my choices. God tell me soon.
i blew my HORN at 8:44 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Struggles]
I am now thinking of whether to withdraw from MI, or not. I don't know why, but it's suddenly quite fun there. Considering the amount of people I have come to know, I feel great to be able to make new friends, step out of my comfort zone and explore the wilderness. It's been long since I left the SA crowd I would usually be engulfed in, and start mixing around with people from other schools. It feels rather good :/
School's been better. Time's been flying. I've never enjoyed school as much. Maybe in an environment where the teachers aren't so stressed, it's pretty enjoyable! I don't know, but all that is making me cry out for an answer to my question, whether to withdraw, or not to withdraw.
Alumni concert is coming up soon, on the 27th on January at 530PM at the Victoria Concert Hall. Tickets are at 12$, please get some from me! :D Lots of fun and exciting music are coming up!
loveyoumanymany.
i blew my HORN at 9:10 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[When I think of you]
When I think of you;
it brings back memories of when we were happy, when we laughed without caring about what tomorrow will bring
When I think of you;
it reminds me of the times when we could just talk about nothing at all for hours and hours, enjoying every second of it
When I think of you;
your smile makes me want to see you face to face but not say anything at all, and just look deep into your eyes
When I think of you;
I want to eat ice cream.
When I think of you;
I want to go back to Taiwan and lose myself to the world there.
When I think of you;
I don't know what to say anymore
I dreamed of you the other night and I was angry at you. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of all the things that have been happening. I don't know.
let's go see stars.
i blew my HORN at 9:40 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Every END is another BEGINNING]
Hi readers. (: I'm baaaaaack!
Oh and it's 2008 already. Damn, I never wrote '2007' in the year 2007 for the last time of my life even though I told myself I would do it. Oh well!
Had a crazy time ever since I returned from Taiwan. Didn't sleep for 24 hours, had a really fun and exciting and make-me-feel-so-loved Christmas, a bike trip from Potong Pasir to East Coast to Changi and all the way back again, then had the watchnight service last year(a few hours, back, last year)! HAHA okay so much for the last year thing. I keep thinking school starts in a few hours after I kept going 'last year last year'.
Oh yes, on the 31st of December 2007, i dropped my one month and 19 days old phone into a bowl of beef noodles. Gosh I feel so pathetic I could cry. It was just plain retarded-ness! And when I arrived at the service center they just told me that they were closed for the day because it was New Year's Eve. How fabulous can that be. But that's okay, because there's still a spare Nokia phone that's going to last me for a few days, I CERTAINLY HOPE!
I felt like blogging about the happenings that have been happening lately but I suddenly can't remember anything I wanted to record down. Oh well, I'll just talk about the 'worries' and thoughts I have in mind now.
I can't take H1 math in JC. People are telling me History and Literature are too crazy, but I don't want to take Geography because I think I'll just suck at it. So now I don't know what subjects to take if I go to SAJC. If I don't, I plan to take up Multimedia and Design in Ngee Ann Poly or some other design course in Temasek Poly. I only have this much in plan so far. Not a very good long term planner, I know. But since I'd be helping with the designing for the youth retreat stuff, might as well? Haha.
Oh yes, I feel a zeal to draw more, like maybe God's using me for that. Which will be really cool. :D okay I'm feeling very tired now, a bit of a headache, maybe my phone poisoned the soup or something. HAHAHA. OKAY GOODNIGHT AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! (:
i blew my HORN at 1:21 AM _____________________________________________________________________
[]
Life has been mad. It's been a while since Os have ended, and I'm spending my time not in a very wise manner. That's bad, no? Oh screw that. Have been spending the past week sleeping in the day and watching movies and other stuff at night. The first band camp that we survived without playing cards. It felt weird but fun nevertheless.
Had a hectic day yesterday. It seemed that I was going to be alone at the open house, but luckily I got to contact Xavier soon enough. Went down, visited the band room and collected the shoe bag, bought some food, stood around for the band performances, then left to eat with Tim. Headed off to church for some drumming! It wasn't bad, but I was very messy today. Maybe because of the accumulated fatigue, or I was just feeling crabby. I don't know. Anyway after drumming at church yesterday, went for alumni band prac. It didn't seem very fun because I couldn't play properly, but with Xanthus and Hong Kai screwing around, it was okay. Hope the one next week would get more exciting.
So, today afternoon after service, we went to somewhere in East Coast that had this "indoor" soccer pitch thing. It was mini, but I enjoyed myself. My legs felt great. Although I kept losing the ball and all, I'm starting to get my whatever back. Shall continue kicking the ball around! Went for dinner at BK. I wouldn't say their new Chicken BK was fantastic, but it filled me up. The first few bites were awesome, but the taste got boring after further gigantic munches. Oh well. Took a bus home, sat in front of the computer, bathed, dota-ed, blogged, slept.
Goodnight.
i blew my HORN at 12:31 AM _____________________________________________________________________
[OOPS]
Gosh. It's been FOUR days since O's ended, and I've been having so much fun, forgetting your existence. OOPS. I shall write about the happenings of today...
Oh, Joe and Bryan came to stay over last night. We played a lot of PSP, watched Bruce Almighty, talked cock until 3, then finally went to sleep. We actually planned to wake up at 730 to swim, but only Joe was super enthusiastic about it. After a minute or two, I saw him slumping back into the mattress, so I just reset my alarm to 830, in time to prepare for service which started at 10. (:
Some things are better left unsaid, so I shall cut the part where it's better left unsaid. Service ended really early, and then the photo-taking was CHAOTIC. Everybody just squeezed into wherever space they could find on the stage, around the stage, so on and so forth. I believe many people didn't smile properly for the camera, but oh well.
Returned to church after lunch. Played some more PSP and cards, before going to big G's house for "Ben Thia's birthday party". Haha. It was a great time of fellowship, I would say. Drank too fast too. Had a pounding headache for a while. Made myself look like a bad drinker. Oh, what the hell. (OH, big G's cooking is BETTER THAN SEX HAHAHA)
Came home after that. Am dead tired because of the 5 hour sleep and crappy drinking skills. But, after coming home, it's made me think a lot. About why I get myself into situations such as the one that happened today. I realize that he's rather like me in his actions (well, I acted the same way in sec 3 i guess) and it just ticks people off. I really regret the stupid things I did last year that landed me in this "mess". At least God has been good and brought me through the year without having to ponder about that matter too much.. :/
Gotta move on when you gotta move on. Move on, Paul. Maybe a 'sorry' might help, but... you've got no balls to say it. So what better way than to move on... Shit, I'm starting to go emo all over again. Things that I see aren't exactly helping in this confusion that my mind is trying to identify. Right, off to bed I shall go. Goodnight people.
i blew my HORN at 11:32 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[More gone, Less come]
Haha I seriously couldn't think of a title today. I'm bored to DEATH.
The boredom is killing me, since there's a break tomorrow and most of the papers coming up are easy ones (not that the ones before were that hard either but :/) , OH WELL. Just thought I'd blog since I'm so bored and I've been sitting in front of my computer for like three hours with only going to pee and getting some water to drink. Heroes episode 6 is taking forever to load and Mithra is pissed with Scrabulous on Facebook, so I'm sitting at home alone, talking to myself on this blog. HAHA, what a miserable slob.
The English papers were okay, because... question number 5 was 'Heroes'. I laughed when my eyes fell on those words. It was completely stupid, but I wrote it anyway. I think my story became very weird and out of point, so I might get a low mark for my paper 1. But my paper 2 should be fine, because it was fairly easy and I could find all the answers. The Math paper 1 was a breeze, but EugeneHar said it was hard.. :/ Maybe I'm too over-confident? Math paper 2 wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but still, lost a few marks here and there. Haha.
Chinese was today. Today was Chinese. 今天考中文! It was quite easy, A LOT MORE EASIER THAN THE MID-YEAR PAPER! The questions for paper 2's comprehension was very straightforward, so lifting was commonplace. (: Everybody felt great after the paper, and I'm included. Went for lunch with Mits, Sheridan, Hamsan and Joel. Then came home, and found nobody and home, so I've been sitting here waiting for Heroes to load, and it's finally done!
So, bye to you readers, and until we meet again :D
i blew my HORN at 5:57 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Five gone, seven to go]
"The Additional Mathematics papers are OVER!
I didn't expect the papers to be so, well, easy. Either that, or effort has been paid off. Thank you Lord for giving me a clear mind during those papers!
I realized that the reason I started to blog again was to help my English essay writing, but it seems that this reason was forgotten when panic took over my mind. Therefore, now calm, I shall take half an hour a day doing some narrative essays taking those 'one word questions' out of past papers or whatever I am able to find."
That were the words that I typed at around 5P.M five days ago. Goodness. Procrastination about blogging! It's supposed to help my English, no? Oh well. I just realized tomorrow is the day for my English papers. How funny. I shall write an essay on "Flight", the one word essay question from the 2004 paper.
Flight
It was a sunny afternoon as he ascended into the sky from the roof of his house. The fact that he could do such a thing was still so unbelievable to he himself. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he glided through the air without being afraid of being seen. Scott was tall with hazel brown eyes, and although he looked weak, he was packed with a punch. Scott had little friends in school, and ever since he discovered his ability to fly, he withdrew even more. Not that he didn't want to show everyone his ability, but, something happened to him just a few days after his amazing discovery...
A man that he has never seen before came out of nowhere shouting his name while he was on his way to school. The next thing he remembered was waking up in his bed, dressed in the same clothes he was wearing the day before. This event has been troubling him ever since and he kept wondering if he should do something about it...
Soaring through the clouds, he reached the stratosphere, where the planes would be flying through. "Wow! So there ARE others like me!" a cheerful voice sang out in his mind. "What the..." Scott spun around in surprise. "No, it's impossible," he thought, "how can anyone talk to me when I'm up HERE?" He freaked out when he heard laughing in his head.
"Hi, my name is Remy! I have an ability just like you do. I can speak to people through my mind, hear their thoughts and find them just by concentrating on a face. Pretty cool huh?"
"But how do you know that I'm..." Scott started to think in reply when he saw a plane behind him. "Oh." He had waited for the plane to fly past before ascending even higher into the stratosphere. But apparently, his timing was off.
"Haha, don't freak out. I heard your thoughts about the weird man that 'abducted' you as you were waiting for the plane to pass. I was a victim as well... and I'm flying here to find him."
Scott suddenly felt afraid of his powers. All the things that have been happening, all the things that he had seen through his journeys in the air brought him to a shocking reality. The word 'abducted' rang in his head. Someone knew about him and his ability! "I've tracked the man down and he is staying 27 miles west of where you live. Meet me at the airport at 5P.M. I'll contact you by thought, okay? We'll bring him down together." "But..." Scott started, then stopped. He realized the danger of this 'mission', and how the man who had abducted him and Remy could be such a sick psycho. But he had to find out who the man was and why he abducted them.
At 5P.M, Scott stood at the airport with a sign that had simply four letters on it : "REMY". Remy stood out among the crowd, he was even taller then Scott, but looked like a total disaster. His hair was blond and unkempt, and he looked like a mess. "I thought I said I'll contact you by thought. Having you holding the sign here doesn't make it very exciting for find you," Remy started as he came up beside Scott. "I've got a gun, and I think that'd be all we need. Let's go there now."
Scott was not very sure about what he wanted to do, whether to go with Remy or let Remy settle it alone, but he was determined to find this man and settle the issue once and for all. As they walked out of the airport, they looked for a secluded spot where into the sky they flew, in the direction that Remy guided him to fly.
They reached the old shack within minutes, and Scott started to feel scared. "Don't worry, just follow me quietly." Remy whispered, "I'm sure that he's inside." As Remy entered the dark shack, he stopped, turned around and gave the most evil smile that Scott has ever seen. That was the last thing Scott saw before blacking out.
He woke up groggy, hearing voices which were familiar. It seemed obvious that Remy, if that even is his real name, was working with the weird man. Scott found his wrist and legs tied up, his mouth gagged, and his head spinning. "Quick Gabe, take his brain apart so we can each have a bit of his tissue, and then we'll both be able to fly!" Both of the men laughed loudly. Scott did not dare to think, for he knew both of them would be hearing his thoughts if he tried to plan an escape. But without a plan, how was he going to get away?
As Gabe approached Scott, he held up shiny cutting tools that were used for surgery. Scott felt sick right down to his stomach, but he was prepared to respond to whatever may come. As Gabe readied the tools, Remy pointed the gun at Scott and slowly pulled the trigger...
"BANG!" The bullet left its chamber as Scott mustered all his strength and pushed himself into the air, straight at Gabe. He lunged into Gabe's stomach, as the bullet missed his legs by mere inches. Recovering from his shock, Remy fired madly at where he thought Scott was. But in front of him, his evil counter-part lay there with several bullet wounds in his chest. Horrified by the terrible mistake that he has made, Remy ran out of the shack screaming and swearing to kill Scott if he was found. Suddenly, Scott flew right into him from the back and Remy fell forward, the gun flying forward as it pointed itself at Remy.
Another gunshot was heard in that secluded area. This time, a bullet was lodged into Remy's brain, and Scott simply stood there in a daze. He quickly flew home, and neither his powers nor the incident was spoken about to anyone. As years past, the memories of the horrific incident went away, and he continued to enjoy the freedom of soaring the skies. But he was never going to reply to a stranger through his thoughts, ever again.
OKAY THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY. GOSH IT'S SO LONG I THINK THE EXAMINER WILL GET BORED OF IT. AHHAHAHA.
edit: I made a word count on Microsoft Word, and it turned out to be 1,042 words long. -_-
Anyway, thanks for all the birthday wishes, people! Thanks for the surprise yesterday too (:
i blew my HORN at 9:17 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[]
I won't be updating until after Os. Same for links. See you readers after 7th November.
i blew my HORN at 10:54 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Insecurity]
I feel so insecure right now. Just thinking over and over again, since I started to walk out of church today. Life is a mess, especially when you're getting the kind of results I am getting for prelims. I never realized it, but all along I've been thinking that a pass would be good enough. Can someone please shoot me for thinking that?
I am feeling so demoralized right now because there is absolutely no confidence to get that target of 11, let alone be able to even get to a JC. Gosh. I don't know if I can hang on anymore, till it's over. I know I'm going to do shit for Os. No matter how hard I study. Then again, the words "Ultimately, the results are what God has given us" hit me and I get so confused. I really don't know what God wants me to do - go to a JC, or take the music road, or what? I need to bang my head on the wall till I get amnesia or something, to forget all these.
And right now, I should just stop worrying my ass off because it's not the right time for it. I have nothing to worry about, because I have everything I need. I need some motivation from friends though.
And friend, if you're reading this, my hands are getting burned by the rope and I am slipping. I don't know how much longer I can hang on. ):
I'm dying and I can't live without you again..
i blew my HORN at 9:45 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Screwed]
My results are TEH SHIT. No, not like, the 'good' shit, but, SHIT. How come? See for yourself.
English: B4
Chinese: B4
EMath: C5
AMath: F9
Science (Physics/Chemistry): B4
Combined Humanities (SS/History): D7
Geography: C6
Yeah, so if you do the Math, you will find that my L1R5 is 30 and my L1R4 is 23. Sad uhh. I had nothing close to an A grade, as you can see from above. Gosh, I wonder how I'll even get myself into the first three months of JC, or even do well enough to apply for SAJC by merit. I feel like a worthless piece of shit getting flushed down the toilet. "Pathetic", Daphne Ang would say. Well, at least I passed my Geography, but she'd go, "No one is studying for a pass at the O Levels!". Sure, but I feel like failing everything. The "I can do it!" feeling has left. ):
Many people tell me that it's God's plan, so I'm gonna trust that He has the plans to prosper me, and not to harm me. But then, I go around back to where I left my doubtful self - What am I going to do when I grow up? What are my goals in life? What am I aiming for? I wish these stupid worries would just leave me alone.
Oh yes, please take note of my Chinese grade. WHAT A DISGRACE.
Just need to find that motivation to study.
"Je vous manque, vraiment."
i blew my HORN at 9:31 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[6, 8, 12]
There's nothing much to rant about, and nothing that anybody would understand, except Him.
I really want to rahh it away, but I am too late and who knows, maybe this will continue on. But God, You take care of it. I'mma study.
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away...
i blew my HORN at 9:59 PM _____________________________________________________________________
SORRY PEOPLE, THE RESOLUTION'S A BIT LARGE. I MIGHT CHANGE IT ANOTHER DAY, BUT IT'LL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW. (:
I wonder what they did at the chalet?
Uhh...
See, horny people are the happiest! :D
MARCUS AHHAHA.
MARLON!
CHIA LUCK KOON!
Spastic Feng, Tim and I
Marah is soooooo into kissing people. O_O
Eugene, we all know you're gay, but TIM?!
SPASMS!
Haha, Geeky Dom.
MOOOOOOOOOOON!
Brenna the DAWG! (:
Happy people (:
VICTOR CHONG XIANG YONG!
caspar and, tim? :/
Robocop, Taiwanese bastard, GAY. HAHA :D
MITS AND HIS 46$ PULLOVER/CARDIGAN THING (:
They're happy. (:
DOM AND PAUL!
Lookie here.
Lookie there! :D
CHIPMUNK.
"What happen?"
Haoming!
Where's Hamsan?
CHEE HWEE!
BRUDDER FROM ANOTHER MUDDER.
SASI!
MARCUS AND HIS ZARA SHIT. :D
GUAI LAN.
BITCH. HAHAHA.
The freakingshly tall SEC ONE.
SEC FOUR 07. Whats Arthur doing there -_-
Senior Horn Section 07!
Us with the really annoying kid who is uber cute, JONATHAN!
MICKEY MOUSE.
RANDOM GROUP :D
Aaron Ang!
CHEN MITS PAUL.
i blew my HORN at 9:28 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Rahh.]
I don't want to type much today, because I want to sleep soon. Have to wake up early tomorrow since I'm drumming. Photos will come at a later date too, so please be patient.
I cried myself to sleep last night, cried in my sleep (I think), and woke up crying.
Tuition, lunch ALONE, church for rehearsal, home, dinner, TEEVEE, blog, bed.
That's all. Bye.
"Who needs loads of friends, when you've got me?"
I guess I do, now, since I don't have you there anymore...
i blew my HORN at 9:53 PM _____________________________________________________________________
It was a great day today. Well, technically yesterday, but whatever. I'll screw the part about going to school for the MCQ papers which I don't really know if I'm going to do well in or not. Can't really be bothered about that right now. So, on to the fun parts! (:
After the papers, I came home and changed into my super hot outfit. Yeah, literally super hot. So I didn't wear the jacket until it was a little cooler around, haha. Met up with Wei Cheah, Chen Lin, Dom, Mithra, Wei Cheah and Dom's friend, Sasi, Ben Thia, Eugene Low and Xavier. The original plan was to go play pool, but because it took Sasi forever to get to wherever we were meeting, we went off to THE CATHAY first to walk around. Went into Gramophone and Mithra started to introduce the Macintosh things to me, telling me about it's various functions and features and so on. Sasi finally came, and we went on to Snookerium at Paradiz Center, but they wanted to check everyone's IC so we had to go somewhere else. Ended up in Pool Junction, where the tables and cues and balls are FANTASTIC. Just that they charge a little too much. Oh well, we had quite a lot of people anyway, so that was okay.
After a really really short hour of pool (quite sadly, SASI WE FORGIVE YOU OKAY (: ) , we went off to TOPMAN at Wisma to get Mithra's cardigan/pullover thing. Uhh, and they had iMacs there, so Dzul and I (he joined us after we finished pool) started playing the games on the computer. Haha! It was so retarded, we couldn't connect to each other! And well, after the lesson by Mithra, I knew how to navigate my way around the Mac for quite a bit. Thanks Mits! :D Yeah, so he got everything ready and we went off, walking to Negara Hotel!
On the way, we bought Old Chang Kee. Hahaha. And then...
"Eh, why the five-star hotel like that one! They too poor to paint the building ah?" asked Dominic. The building really looked like an old building, but when we went inside, it was WHEEEEE. Haha. The interior design wasn't as bad as it looked on the outside (which was pretty plain and crappy looking). Oh well, when we went in, we got so excited that we started to camwhore, which was only the beginning of the night...
Thanks to Joel for making that video. "Go Taiwan!" HAHA. Mr G. was pretty amazed and wondering why you made that random sentence, but oh well, I suppose he knows now. Haha! I'll really miss you, kiddo. The introduction was okay, but when it came to the speeches, there my picture hung on the screen, with a thought bubble which said, "Speeches???" Gosh, I look so retarded there! Thank you, whoever did that. It made the picture look like it was staring at whoever was standing up there to give the speech. After which, the food was pretty good, and Sasi totally dug in to the beef. So did Hamsan! Hahahahaha, IT WAS HILARIOUS. Well done, Indian people. :D
The games, oh boy, the games were the best. Genius! The first game was too fantastic that it didn't have a name, says Brenna. 6 people get called up, and for different scenarios. The first one was 5 buckets of water and 1 of ice. We were supposed to guess who had themselves caught in the real situation. The second scenario was the box with mealworms. Marcus got his hand in them and gosh, HE TOUCHED JOEL WITH HIS HAND AFTER THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, then the third one, 5 glasses of water, and 1 of vinegar. Dzul was lucky and got the vinegar, and he took ONE BIG SIP. Wow, kudos to him. Oh the last one, I LOVE. Wasabi in bread. Totally felt like puking, but NO! I ate the half I was supposed to.
"EAT THE WHOLE BREAD!"
"GO TAIWAN!!"
"EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!!"
Those were the kind of things I heard when I started to munch away. It was pretty obvious that only Aaron didn't get the Wasabi, because his expression was too plain, and his bread wasn't, well, filled with green stuff. So Joel added spice into the ending and went, "It's not fun that he didn't get the wasabi, so he'll get the forfeit!" Haha, so Aaron had to eat lime. Joel, you're a really good emcee. (:
I won't go into details of the second game, but it was mainly about our observation skills and stuff. I wanted to continue to eat after the first game though, but the wasabi really burnt my brain and stomach! Oh, Marcus kinda screwed up the little bottle of salt, and since he overspilled it, he gathered all he could and put it in his teacup. Then, he poured everything into Joel's drink! HAHAHA. "Retribution", he calls it. So when Joel came to have a drink, he nearly spat it out. Hohoho. Umm. That was pretty much it. The end. Then the camwhoring started! Haha, I went around giving cards first, then spamming my camera with photos. I guess I really enjoyed it. Heh. Like, taking photos with almost everyone! :D I'm sure this will stay in my head for a really, long, time.
THANK YOU BAND!! I'LL MISS YOU GUYS LIKE SHIT!
Yup, that's pretty much, the joy. Grief comes in at every departure of something. Well, at least there was joy.. wasn't there? (: I'll post some photos another day, am UBER TIRED NOW.
"There has to be an end to the good things!"
So I guess this is where the good things end,
The happy memories shoved into my hand
With the other asking for more,
I hear the sound of happiness closing the door
It's time to say goodbye.
Goodbye hurts, sometimes.
You once told me not to give up
A friendship so special, I don't know where to start
It began with a happy joyous greeting and wish,
but is ending with a sad, little horrendous... what?
Seems then that you were the one holding on,
but now I'm the one trying to pull you up
You slip away ever so slowly,
I'd really break, if you fall away wholly
je vous manque, ami.
pourquoi....?
i blew my HORN at 1:07 AM _____________________________________________________________________
[Sorry]
I am really, really sorry. Like, sorry sorry sorry.
Today is poop. Studied at church, alone. It seems like me studying or not will still end up as, NOT studying at all, in someone's eyes. Oh well.
I don't know what I'm going to wear for band dinner, and I ain't done with the cards. I'm not a very happy person today, because shit happens. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Bye.
i blew my HORN at 5:24 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[...]
I am SO going to buy a MACbook since Warcraft III is compatible with it. That'd be cool enough, like, although I'm quite bored of Warcraft altogether. HAHA. Oh well, guess I'd have to find other games that are compatible with the Mac. (:
Went shopping for band dinner clothes with Mithra, Thia, Chen and Dominic. I couldn't find anything, oh sad me. Oh, there's pepper lunch express at the food junction there! :D Met little friend for dinner, then we parted because she left for Japanese class while I thought I was gonna follow the group again when they just disappeared. So, I went home.
Had dinner at home actually, because I watch my little friend eat. Wasn't very hungry then. Reached home at around six, then had dinner while mom went to church. Was watching epic movie when suddenly, THE BUILDING STARTED SHAKING. Like, WOAH. Haha. I didn't know whether I should hide under the table or something, but I was quite shocked! Turns out that Indonesia was attacked by an earthquake of 8.5 on the Richter Scale. Many people freaked out, I guess.
Yeah, so after that I was writing cards when mom came home super early. It turned out that no one went to church for the prayer meeting. Oh well. Then, like. I don't know what happened. We just got pissed at each other. Poop. And, fuck.
Goodnight world.
sometimes we don't see the answers that we are looking for when they are just right in front of us.
i blew my HORN at 9:23 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Running after Time]
Okay, I went to cut my hair today. I don't know why nobody feels like I did. GOSH. Hahaha. Oh well, Mithra came over today in the late morning, and took Spawn and The Gods Must Be Crazy from my computer. I can't believe my MP3 charger could actually work as a power source for his hard drive. Wow. Then we were playing around with Google Earth's flight simulator, IT WAS RETARDED TO THE MAX PLEASE. Crash and crash and crash. Hoho.
Waited half an hour for Albert to cut my hair. There were like, so many people. And we saw Dominic there too! He looked so funny without waxing his hair and all, it's like, a really really messy explosion in his hair! :D Got the haircut, then headed for church.
"Yo, I cut my hair!"
"You did?"
"-_-"
HAHA. That was the conversation that started my study hours at church today. Oh well, I suppose I'll ask Albert to cut MORE next time! Yeah, so I sat there in the library doing maths (AGAIN) from like, 3 plus to 6. Kah Jun was sooooooo desperate for food that he took most of the Pringles! Haha, a food monster he is, I'm telling you. Oh, Seto got me a lollipop. SO NICE RIGHT! I wonder if SOMEBODY is jealous, HOHO. Yeah well, then went out to eat dinner with Seto because we were gonna do the one hour prayer thing, so...
I'm surprised that even though I felt like it was out of obligation at first, I really enjoyed the prayer session. Maybe it was because it wasn't those really formal types and I really just felt connection with God, it was so awesome! The feeling is really great. Gosh, I wish I could do that more, like, make it a habit. I feel like a hypocrite :/
That's it for today, come back tomorrow for more EXCITING shit from me (:
I'll throw my life upon all that You are
'Cause I know you gave Your life for me
When all else fades my soul will dance with You
Where the love lasts forever.
seeyou very very soon! :D
i blew my HORN at 9:44 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Confession]
I wish to confess. I have been taking lots of things for granted, and I can't believe myself, how stupid I am to have to go through these ideas of things that do not exist/is not happening! The other side of me just keeps telling me all these lies, making me a miserable person. Okay, here goes.
1. I tell myself that I am not loved when, God is there. Like, how can I not be loved when God is there?! And He's put so many people that love me around me, just that I am not sensitive enough to feel that. Or am I just so foolish that I don't want to accept what I am given?
2. I tell myself that I am cold, and lonely. Think about the homeless ones and those that are out there with no shelter, no food, no love. With NOTHING. If you're cold and lonely, what are they? You have a house, loving parents that care for you, and even though you can't cope with them sometimes, for goodness' sake, please stop feeling cold and lonely!
3. Talking about being lonely, I tell myself the lie that makes me the most miserable person in the world : I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I tell myself that because I feel so, rejected? But, in reality, do I? I mean, God has put so many people around me, and I have been the one who has been doing the rejecting. I reject people whom I think I am not good enough for, or not good enough for me. And why is that? Since when was I too good for anyone..?
4. Do I really have to feel that way whenever I see her? Like, gosh, it's been AGES. And yet, there's this little tinge that tells me I want to relive the past or something, change it, so I could feel all better. Well, like what? Feel better from...? What do I intend to change anyway? I'm not ready for anything yet, and I'll never be, until at least, I settle down from O's. Oh well, my Rubik's Cube is soooo messed up and I forgot the solution, which I won't be able to find in a long, long time.
Lastly, a very big SORRY for not talking to you all day, little friend. I've been trying to find some solitude, some quietness, but even in my sleep, I wasn't peaceful. A little solitude made me feel better somewhat, I hope you understand..
LITTLE MUFFIN ATE HIMSELF AND FLEW HOME, SINGING THE SAD SONG.
i blew my HORN at 10:57 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[More than Words]
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Well, I suppose two movies in a day was a killer for me. But I enjoyed them nonetheless (: I'm sure I can find some ways to revive me and keep me going. It started off with breakfast and Long John's. Didn't eat much, 'cause we weren't hungry, but got to TEACH my little friend the ways to solving a Rubik's cube. Haha! Mm, then took a bus from PS to Cineleisure. Watched No Reservations. It was.. draggy and, well, the story wasn't really clear. But I enjoyed it. Haha! Two little people all the way at the back, with like ten other people in a really large theater. After which, sadly, we had to part. It was only a short few hours, but I enjoyed it. Thank you friend! (:
After that, went to meet Mithra and Chen at THE Cathay. Watched Ratatouille. Was hilarious and I really enjoyed it because of all the retarded-ness and stuff going on. Oh, I really think Remy's cool, and Linguini is SO FUNNY. They saved each other's asses, and gosh, I'd wish for a pet like that. Was treated to TWO HOURS of LAN after the movie! Because with one ticket stub, we could play TWO HOURS for 3.50$! So, with me totally broke, I turned to Mithra and he went, 'Okay I'll treat you'. :D Thanks man!
We learned that his mother didn't like black, and uhh, he asked me to keep his black jacket for him because he didn't want his mother to see the black jacket he bought :/ So, haha, I guess I'm returning the favor of treating me LAN! (:
Just came home from the Jan Johnson talk on "Transformation of the Soul". Shall start putting into practice the "You do the connecting, and let God do the perfecting" thing. Haha! Feels great when you dwell in His presence, don't it? Sure is great.
I only realize that it is too late when
I wish I did more when I could have
I could never find a chance to do it again
So a sad song I write
And sing with my might
But I feel the tingle of my heart
It says, "Oh, so vain"
Gosh, why don't I see,
When the Lord is with me and for me,
When I have everything I need?
):
i blew my HORN at 10:42 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Spinning Rain]
Ah, the sweet feeling of rain dropping down on your being. It is a sad morning for you because you miss out on the day's activities (which is supposed to be full of excitement and joy and laughter and, enjoyment) . Deprived of this joy that you have been longing for almost a month, or two, maybe quite a while, you sulk and pout in the replaced activities that have been planned for you. The rain starts falling as you try to force a smile on your face. It hurts somewhere inside, as the issues of yesterday start to haunt you once again. "Why can't I shake it off once and for all?!" you asked in frustration.
Getting on with the replacement activities did not please you at all. Still sulking, you sit in front of the computer, searching for solutions of something that you have messed up. Miraculously, you find it! It delights you in many ways, and you mess up and solve the problems again and again. But you do not always come to the perfect solution. There might be something wrong, something out of place and you just do not know what to do. From this simple illustration of a Rubik's Cube, you realize something about life.
Life is like a Rubik's Cube in it's own way. You get all messed up. You solve your problems with a standard solution, but not always ending up solving them correctly. You would have to improvise to get them solved. And what's more? There is more than one standard solution. So, in solving life's confusing problems, the standard solution would be looking to God for help. But without you doing your best, how do you expect Him to do the rest? Many a times do we take Him for granted, and gosh, do we not feel ashamed about it??
When will you awake from your folly?
vous manque vraiment, ami.
i blew my HORN at 9:18 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[Funny.]
Funny things happen. They happen for a reason. They teach us something, something we do not know, or have not realized. But oh well, they're funny. In a funny way. This is referring to the happenings that took place yesterday, and although I had as big a shock as my friend did, I certainly did not suffer an aftermath. My mother seems to be able to understand why my friend felt that way though, so I trust her. Oh well, I guess the past should be put behind us. STOP WORRYING! (:
I stayed in church to study after lunch today. Did a little AMaths, but it was not as productive as I hoped. Joe and I were playing pictionary, then hangman, then all sorts of funny games on the whiteboard of the the conference room. And then, spell as many words as you can from "PLANET". It was fun, but, what happened to studying.
Ah, then went to Plaza Singapura to shop with MA, COUSIN, and uhh, Anna. Ha. I went because of the fried mars bars which I have not tasted for so long. And then, we walked around, with them shopping and me just tagging along. Haha. Bought a Rubik's Cube in the end, solved it ONCE, then totally screwed it up again. I seriously have no sense of logical direction and I suck at that. Now I feel so, crap. I don't know why. It's just, a funny phenomenon. Goodness, I feel worse than shit, like rubbish.
Guess I will not be able to go out tomorrow then. Sorry friend. ):
i blew my HORN at 11:16 PM _____________________________________________________________________
[]
Prelims are finally taking a break. For a week, before it continues. I totally screwed the AMath paper up today. Oh well, proves that linear law comes out even for paper 1. I could have done so much better for Geog 2 if I had studied a little more, slept a little less, and grew interest in the subject earlier. Ah, so little confidence in myself for today's papers. Actually, come to think of it, none of my papers are gonna do well. Not that I expect them to, now, when I start thinking of everything in my mind again. Oh boy.
Anyway, I went to Orchard's Crystal Jade for lunch today. Mom's friend gave us a treat. Went to Isetan and got like, 200$+ worth of goods. Uhh, I got my pens, and... that's about it. Gosh, it's been boring. Oh! I got a letter, hoho.
So yes, just hanging on till it's all over. Until I find something more exciting to write about, I'll be chilling off in the week. (:
The winds blow in my face
As the thunder roars in my place
I asked for a little piece of comfort
But was pretty much in vain
I went through all the pain
And for what?
So I could feel better.
i blew my HORN at 9:57 PM _____________________________________________________________________
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